Sunday, October 11, 2009

iiiii got dosed by u

my dad has been really goddamned weird lately. anytime something trivial happens, something that isn't even a big deal, really, he flips out and tells me to get a job and move out. i don't understand this, dad. you're usually very logical and rational and only say things like this when you're absolutely livid. ((side note: i fucking hate it when people call my house and speak to me in chinese. hey, you fucking retard, you're calling CANADA, and you are fully aware that 2/3 people currently living in the house you're calling DON'T SPEAK CHINESE, so don't fucking do that. for fuck's sakes it's so inconsiderate and rude.)) anyway, all in all, i'm a pretty good daughter, i think. i don't usually break curfew, i don't do terrible things, i clean up after myself, but whenever my dad becomes angry with me for something that he wouldn't normally get angry about he treats me as if i'm some pothead mooch without a job who dropped out of school and is leeching off of the family or something. i asked him if he would pay my rent and bills if he wants me to move out so badly because i'm still in highschool and won't be able to make enough money with a part-time job to pay for everything i need and he just stops talking or changes the subject. also someone was telling me i should get a can of compressed air for my laptop to clean the dust out of the vents and i told my dad, "we need a can of compressed air." he came and stood in my doorway and literally pointed his finger at me and very sternly said "don't tell me what we DO and DO NOT need. you don't get to say what goes on here. i'm tired of this."

i don't like this. i don't like to have a bad relationship with the person who provides for me and i go to when i have problems. it's already like that with the other parent, i don't want it to be that way with both of them.

i think it might have something to do with his wife being gone and not coming back until after christmas. obviously he is going to miss her because she's his wife, but she also took care of the house and made sure things were clean and not disgusting because all she did was sit at home and sleep most of the day. maybe living in a messy environment is getting to him.

anyway, moving on. remember a few (a lot) of entries back i was talking about how my toenail was all weird and discolored and sore? well i forgot about it, and it just stayed a bad color but i painted my red polish over it and really just forgot about it. i thought the discoloration would go away. but when i came home last night and was sitting crosslegged at my desk i noticed the nail was halfway off. there was no blood, no pus, it was just... sort of falling off. it was really sick. i pulled it off. danielle was on speaker phone when it happened, but she made me make a youtube video of it so she could watch it happen after it had happened. i told my dad about it and he gave me some tissue and said to put the tissue over the place where my toenail would be and use a band-aid to hold it in place until it grew back.

so i don't have a big toenail anymore. this happened once, or twice, but when i was way younger. i don't remember how long it took to grow back. it looks really gross. i hate it so much.

i got the sims 3!!!
but yeah, there is a problem. my laptop overheats and shuts off during gameplay. :(

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