EVERYONE SUCKS

and I've decided I'm never doing anything intoxicating again because I just can't handle myself when I'm like that.


oh, this too:

(404): "tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?


hahahahaha

everywhere and everywhy

the skin on my hands is soft and fragile because i wore the tough layer off on a swing today.
i basically did nothing today. actually not nothing, i went to danielle's and took away her cowgirl boots. i needed them boots! actually, what i need more is my own pair. i want a nice pair, but they're really expensive. my mom's ex-husband had a collection of really expensive cowboy boots, he was such an asshole. i wonder what stephen is doing right now? probably all alone in that big house. or maybe he's dating one of his college students. apparantly he is coming out with a new book. i wonder if my mom will read it just to see all the stupid poetry he's written about their divorce. she probably will, i don't know why but she probably will.


good god it's so hot. i'm worried about my laptop because it's scorching. poor baby computer.
the heat is much more intense when you're typing away on a laptop that's also really hot.

can't think of a cryptic blog title atm sorry

it's almost 3. i think i am definitely going to keep up this business of not going to sleep until 4 or 5 in the morning. it's a lot of fun.

what a disappointment

last night was not very good.

i was supposed to meet up with Mary at the fireworks and i got on the skytrain to go there but it was raining so she went home. i was kind of pissed because i was under the impression that it was only sprinkling rain, but as soon as i actually got outside of the skytrain i realized that it was actually pissing rain and wasn't pissed anymore because i would probably have gone home too.

for whatever reason i decided that i was going to the beach anyway. bad idea. there were zero babes there and zero losers who would be willing to give me some of their drugs. just bad. after half an hour of walking barefoot in the disgusting wet sand (the fireworks haven't even started at this point) i decided to go home because i was soaked, there was nowhere to sit, and i had no way to keep dry. i walked from english bay to granville skytrain station - this was slightly uplifting for whatever reason.

on the skytrain home there were a bunch of drunk surrey/new west losers. alternative school loser types. one of them was trying to rap or something, he was really loud and scary. the police would occasionally come onto the train and they took one guy off because he was being uncooperative. as the train left they all screamed "FUCK THE PIIIIIIGS" or something like that.
at one point one of the fat ed hardy wearing girls was on the ground, i don't know why.

anyway i finally got home and stayed up until about 2 A.M doing nothing important. i had anxiety, i still have anxiety. something feels bad.

need a lil love to ease da pain

today is really good in so many ways. the weather, the smells in the air, the way it was raining for fifteen minutes and suddenly stopped, the good kind of awake the coffee i had gave me, how it will be nighttime soon. EVERYTHING IS GREAT.

i applied at AA and i don't know really. i went for one of the open call interviews. everyone else there was so ridiculously anti-trendy. one guy was reading the bible and called the store american eagle. it would be cool if he got the job. the reason i'm not totally doubtful is because i didn't screw up during the interview - i was really calm, really collected and afterwards the girl who interviewed me said "don't be surprised if you hear back from us." i don't know if they say this to everyone or what? i'm not gonna get my hopes up or anything. they take your picture and i took danielles advice to look completely apathetic when they took mine. i'm so unphotogenic though.

pray 4 me

my idol

here are a few of my favorite things

• non-sugary cereal (it just tastes better)
• the way cows feel when you touch dem
• curly hair
• AUTUMN
• portishead
• babes
• baths
• night time
• listening to conversations of people who are smarter than me
  
• brown hair n brown eyes