???

i haven't cried in a really long time. maybe a month or two months, but that's a long time for me considering i would cry about stupid things on a weekly or even daily basis.

but this isn't one of those momentary hour-long cries or whatever. i've been having crying spells on and off since before five this morning and all through today (so far). i don't want sympathy, i just want to look back on this so i'm able to remember feeling this way and remind myself that it always gets better. that cliche crap, you know? it helps.

look and feel filthy. i ate a bunch of unhealthy things because of christmas and my birthday. i have that ugly after-crying look where your face and eyes are all red and your nose is full of mucus. i need a shower, i need exercise. i need sunlight